She...she wanted to be a secret girl

Sticky Notes

2010-06-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

quote via weheartit

Sticky Notes

2010-06-27T16:50:00.000-07:00

quote via weheartit

Sticky Notes

2010-06-26T16:49:00.000-07:00

quote via weheartit

lyric by Jimmy Eat World

Sticky Notes

2010-06-25T16:46:00.000-07:00

quote via weheartit

Sticky Notes

2010-06-24T16:45:00.000-07:00

quote via weheartit

Sticky Notes

2010-06-23T16:42:00.000-07:00

quote via weheartit

lyric by Regina Spektor

Sticky Notes

2010-06-22T16:39:00.000-07:00

quote via weheartit

originally by Sylvia Plath

Sticky Notes

2010-06-21T16:37:00.002-07:00

quote via weheartit

originally from Gossip Girl

Summer Solstice

2010-06-21T16:32:00.001-07:00

In honor of the start of summer I laid out in the backyard and soaked up the sun in my bikini.

Here is a list of my sunbathing essentials:

Sunscreen!

My ipod and my blackberry

My journal and the book(s) I am reading

A big drink of ice water (in my Edward Cullen cup of course)

A fun windmill planted next to my towel

(my mom sent me this a while back. so cute!)

A breeze!

My cute whale shorts (from forever 21)

and my bikini from target

(i got this last year for one of my first dates with jake)

Happy longest day of the year!

my bathroom

2010-06-20T13:33:00.001-07:00

I did this totally randomly after reading color me katie and being quite bored.

It was my turn to clean the bathroom, so I did, and then to brighten up the small oppressive little room I did this:

Now getting ready in the bathroom (instead of my bedroom, which has HORRIBLE lighting) is actually fun and brightens up my day a little.

AH!

2010-06-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Jean-Luc Picard day! How did I not know this fun fact?

It might be the most awesome of all awesome days. I love Jean-Luc Picard.

http://picardday.wordpress.com/

My Mac Dock

2010-06-14T19:43:00.000-07:00

I have recently started following a blog called color me katie that my friend Carolina blogged about.
I have been so inspired by color me katie's outlook on life! the way that art is infused into her everything is so amazing and I wish I was more like that.

She did a post a while back where she teaches you how to change the images for the icons in your dock (if you have a mac). I can not tell you how excited I was to do this!

I used some old images of my hands that I shot for a different project that didn't end up working out.
I think they are perfect for this. If you have a mac you know that when you open a program in your dock or if one wants your attention, it will bounce. So when the icons in my dock bounce it looks like they are going "pick me, pick me." Now the bouncing is more cute and less annoying.

My handsome Jake is my background right now. Not to pat my own back or anything but I really love this photo of him. The colors and the lighting are just so freaking cool and he looks awesome.

Here it looks like I'm picking his nose. Hee Hee.

If you want to try this go to color me katie's post here, where she explains exactly how to do this.

I'm working on another project inspired by something I saw in her site so check back later-ish to see how that turned out.

Pages

2010-04-26T01:16:00.003-07:00

Blogger is doing this new nifty thing where you can have pages on your blog.
I can not tell you how long I have been wishing there was something like this!
So now there are pages underneath my header where you can read about me, see my resume, link to boy meets geek, or go to my portfolios.
Yay!

Letters

2009-12-07T13:33:00.006-07:00

Dear Jacob's new apartment,
The furnace is stupid and a annoying. You might want to work on that.

Dear "greatest snow on earth,"
Couldn't you wait till after Jake was moved in? Although I guess I can forgive you because you are pretty and fun to drive the FJ in.

Dear Angies,
One word. Scones. (life changing). Thank you.

Dear Logan,
I feel bad for you becasue you are being raped by two Walmarts. I like being with you despite your lack of a Target. You make me feel good. Plus... Angies. Possibly worth moving here for. Well you know... and Jake.

Dear Economy,

I need a job that doesn't involve fast food. I will even work Sundays or in the middle of the night if I have to as long as I don't have to flip burgers or wear a silly hat. Please stop sucking.

Dear Creative Muse,

Where the hell have you been? Its nice to see you after so long. Lets make lots of money together, okay?

Dear USU,

Please accept me. I really want to get my M.F.A.

Dear Internet,

You suck today. I'm trying to apply for jobs. Help a girl out.

Dear Craigslist,

What's with all the scams? I need a real job.

Dear Blackberry,

Your T/Y button fails to work more often than I would like. Please stop.

Dear Christmas,

Thanks for coming early. Little BIG Planet: Game of the Year Edition is AWESOME.

Dear Etsy,

How is a girl supposed to pick a ring? Too many cute things not enough ring fingers.

who knew that turning 22 was magical?

2009-09-28T15:34:00.003-07:00

23 is my lucky number. so having 22 be a magical birthday is pretty surprising.

i haven't written in such a long time...

i feel like i woke up and i was 22 and everything was different

i've been hiding out in my basement fighting depression and anxiety (only not really fighting as much as letting it take over me)

but something about 22 is changing things

it's changing me

i feel for the first time in long time

i feel more love

more connection to the things that used to be important

some kind of direction

i feel like for the first time i know what i want to be when i grow up

and i am starting to get an idea about how i am going to do that

starting with possibly going back to school for a second bachelors degree...

Shredded, Melted, and Mangled

2009-07-06T20:31:00.005-07:00

i wanted to go to ruby tuesdays.

we went to outback steakhouse. i will forever be giving jake crap about this.

on the way back to my house we took i-215 heading east. we got on at fort union and once we were on the freeway we rolled up our windows. jake was driving. we were in his pathfinder. i was in the passenger seat changing the music on the ipod. we believe i had my right foot propped up on the dash.

just a few minutes past the fort union on ramp jake wanted to move into the left lane so he turned on his signal and checked his blind spot before he started to merge over. there was a woman in his blind spot so he stayed in the middle lane but she saw his blinker and panicked. she thought he was going to come over without seeing her and so she swerved into the far left lane and then over corrected coming back and came into our lane. i heard her tires squeal but didn't see anything. jake saw her coming and knew it was going to be bad. i believe he said something out loud like "oh shit" right before she hit us, hard, on the drivers side back tire. the way she hit us caused the pathfinder to fishtail out to the right and skid on the tires so we ended up perpendicular to the flow of traffic. the pathfinder then tipped onto my side and slid. miraculously my window did not break. i am thankful i had just rolled it up. that window probably saved my face, my arm, and possibly even my life. after that is hazy for both of us. the skid marks on the car indicate that we rolled at least once and spent some time sliding on jakes side as well but we don't remember that. his window did break but, aside from some glass in his hair and ears, he was not hurt.

the next thing i knew we landed on the roof of the car and slid for several hundred yards. this part is very vivid for me. i remember it very clearly. it is amazing how much your brain can process in such a short amount of time. i remember thinking several things. "No. Not yet." "This is not happening to us." "We are going to hit something on my side before we stop." "I can't believe the air bags didn't go off." and of course, "Is Jake okay? Is Jake okay?" i also remember the sound of metal on asphalt and the smell of the plastic melting.

i was never scared though. there isn't time to be afraid. in that moment you just are.

the car came to a stop all on its own upside down in the far right lane right after the 2800 exit ramp. pretty far away from where we started. we didn't hit anything and no other cars hit us. when we came to a stop the pathfinder was facing the other direction, sort of south west, which means while we were on the roof we spun and did at least a 180. we were both wearing our seat belts. they saved our lives for sure. as soon as i was sure we had stopped i called jakes name and reached out to him. the moment in between asking for him and hearing him say "I'm okay. Are you okay?" was the longest half a second of my life.

As i hung there my bare feet fell down under the glove compartment and something under there was really hot and burnt my feet so i had to hold my legs up which isn't exactly easy. jake quickly turned the engine off and i remember thinking that was really smart of him to think to do that. Several people were at my window then. Jake and i were amazed at how many people stopped to help us. It is good to know that there are still really good people in the world. Jake couldn't get out of his side. It was too smashed. There were at least 5 men at my door asking if i was okay. They got the door open and someone held me to the chair while i unbuckled my seatbelt. I flipped down then and stood up but i was barefoot. My flip-flops flew off in the wreck and were on the roof. The pathfinder was crushed at the place where the roof and the windshield meet so we weren't exactly resting flat on the roof we were more on the windshield so when i went to stand my feet were on the windshield and one of the guys grabbed me so i didn't cut my feet and helped me into my shoes.

It was hard to stand on my own. Once you know you are okay the fight goes out of your body. There was a woman there though who wrapped me up in her arms and walked me to the side of the road and had me sit down while they helped jake out. I sat there on the side of 215 and cried in a strangers arms because i was so afraid for jake. i really wish i knew who that woman was. i wish there was some way i could thank her.

They helped jake out of the car and as soon as he was up and walking towards me i shot up, went straight to him, and he wrapped me up in his arms. The ambulance got there right then, which was really fast. All in all it took them 5 min tops to get to us because they were in the area training and saw the pathfinder upside down. they weren't even the ones responding to the call.

We took jake to the hospital because they were worried about his back but his scans and x-rays were negative for any fractures. i declined medical treatment. i wasn't in shock like jake was or in any pain. i just wanted to be in the ambulance with him. they took my vitals though while we sat on the side of the road. the EMT complemented me on my strong heart. i thought that was kinda funny.

My grandparents came to get us from the hospital and we stayed at their house for the night. I am so glad to have such a good support system here.

Today we are both pretty sore. My right leg is bothering me but its not really bad. Like i said we think i had my leg propped up against the dashboard so it probably hit the door pretty hard when we landed on my side. It is just muscle aches though. Nothing serious.

We went to the tow yard to see the car. There are pictures below. Jake and i cleaned his stuff out and then we just stood there in each others arms and cried for a minute. The sheer impossibility that we walked away with nothing but one bruise and one scratch between us is enough to make anyone cry. We have spent a lot of time being thankful today. We were SO blessed!

The roof above my door.

Jake's door.

The Windshield.
Burnt plastic and shredded metal above Jake's door.

The back door. Which we couldn't open.

Emma Taylor John

2009-06-07T11:08:00.004-07:00

this morning, every excitedly, my mom called me to the (nasty, dirty) basement. she and dad are cleaning it just in case someone at the grad party wanders down there, which is unlikely...while organizing some files or something she came across the lists of names they thought of calling me before i was born. she and dad used to sit in church and switch up the combinations. i think it is really cute that they saved the lists after all these years!

turns out rachel johanna was only the sixth choice.

number one was maren johanna, which i actually like.
i also like number four, emma taylor. but do i look like an emma? i don't think so. i love the name emma but i think of it as a more timid, sweet girls name.

thats not me :)

click on the pictures to make them bigger. they are easier to read that way.

"Does she know, does she care?" that's what they'll ask.

2009-04-17T12:10:00.004-07:00

"You may not be his first, his last, or his only. He loved before he may love again. But if he loves you now, what else matters? He's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if he can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you can break - his heart. So don't hurt him, don't change him, don't analyze and don't expect more than he can give. Smile when he makes you happy, let him know when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there." -Bob Marley (pronouns changed)

(lyrics in title by maria taylor)

i just photoshopped my ex out of my life.

2009-03-26T23:04:00.004-07:00

we could call it symbolic for completely moving on or something but i did that already.really i just did this because eliza said i should and i wanted to prove that i could.

before

after

cause i've seen it before and i don't care anymore

2009-03-05T20:11:00.002-07:00

and a new blog design. i guess it's just me feeling more sure of the path i'm on + some frustration + a little leftover bitterness haha. or it's just pretty and funny.

edward cullen wishes he was this hot

2009-02-19T17:14:00.003-07:00

i love lists

2009-02-16T23:22:00.002-07:00

as requested by eliza.

a compilation of websites that i frequent and/or love and/or think people might enjoy.

we heart it
We Heart It is a social bookmarking tool for images and videos. You create your own page and then when you are surfing the net you can save pictures that you like or that inspire you on your page so they are all in one place. You can see my page here.

dooce

This is a blog written by a woman living here in Salt Lake. She is very funny and she has great style. I love reading her stuff and looking at her photos.

journal fodder junkies

This is a blog about keeping a journal. I like it cause there are other people out there as obsessed about keeping a journal as i am. You can look at their art and there are also tutorials so you can learn cool stuff.

cake wrecks

Eliza actually showed me this one but i am still sharing it. It is pictures of professional cakes gone wrong. v. v. funny.

threadless tees

I love this website. I wish i could buy all the shirts. They are a community-based t-shirt company with an ongoing, open call for design submissions. In other words, average every-day artists design the graphics on the tees. I have considered doing something...

collapsingnight's livejounal

I actually came across this woman's site through the twilight fandom (*guilty*)... she and i have a similar taste in art, music, and photography and i find a lot of great stuff through her. She makes icons for livejournal users and i don't livejournal but i love icons. cute little 1 by 1 inch square photos. she also makes kick butt playlists for every thing.

utah photographic arts council

I had to include this. I am a member and so i have a gallery of stuff on here and i know all the other fabulous artists!

i can read

Images with words. I love words. Therefore i love this site.

hayley williams of paramore

... is my hero. I want to be her. This website is all about her style and where she shops and how she does her make-up. Girl has style. I love this site even though it is a little stalker-y. haha.

overheard in new york

So freaking funny. People in new york submit things they actually overhear on the streets and stuff. I read it and think there is no way people say things out loud like this... but they do.

ze's page

Random, fun, and funny stuff to help you waste time on the computer. I recommend the scribbler, break_up, and string spin.

create a snowflake

Another good time waster.

kurt halsey

I love this guys work so much!

new years resolutions

People submitted not so normal new years resolutions. Its really simple art but i like it for the words. Kinda inspirational in a weird way.

a softer world

This is a totally awesome comic strip. She takes the pictures and he writes the comic... i love it! It's funny and sad and harsh and fabulous.

and then for checking out art there's always:

ffffound

deviantART

flicker

oh and i love post secret... everyone knows what that is right?

this ended up being a longer list then i thought it would be...

happy valentines day from a 14 year old me

2009-02-14T18:36:00.002-07:00

click here to laugh at rachel 8 years ago

left leg not broken... but it should be

2009-02-12T14:09:00.006-07:00

"Life these days is getting rough
Knocks you down and beats you up
But it’s just a roller coaster anyway, yeah

It’s not right, not okay
Say the word that should say
Maybe we’re better off this way
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way
It’s better that we break, baby"
-Maroon 5

i've gotten a taste of what it is like to lose someone this week... really lose someone. gone. off the planet. i've lost people before (see above- broken friendship). but death is not something i have had to deal with yet. i have both my parents, all my siblings, all my friends, all four grandparents, my cousins and all of my aunts and uncles- save annalise, who's void i do feel in my life- but she died when i was a baby and so i cannot claim to have felt the pain of her actual death (besides, i like to think she watches over me and therefore i have had her all along).

understandably the thought of losing someone so close to me has freaked me out pretty thoroughly and i am once again thinking that i'm in a hurry and there's just not enough time. i'm thinking of mistakes i've made and broken friendships and other things going wrong in my life and i am, as usual, unsure of my next step.

but this i do know.

my grandpa should be dead. but he is here. he is alive.

and so am i.

2009-02-10T21:04:00.010-07:00

take this as a sign?

songs you might need durring the scary moments

1. Ross Copperman (They'll Never Know)

Hush, baby don’t cry. Just get through this night

Overcome.

2. Robbie Seay Band (Shine Your Light On Us)

Let Your rescue come for us, we long to love

And if you feel lost, sing along

3. Paramore (Miracle)

I've been waiting for a miracle

And I'm not leaving

4. Ingrid Michaelson (Keep Breathing)

All i can do is keep breathing. All we can do is keep breathing now.

All we can do is keep breathing

5. City and Colour (Hello, I'm Delaware)

It's been so long. Sometimes I wonder how I will stay strong...

But I will see you again.

I got a scary phone call today.

The kind people pray they will never get.

"Rachel, your grandpa is in intensive care."

And all I could do and fathom and be was in that one sentence. Heart-ending and gut-pounding and soul-crushing as it was, the only thing I knew to do was twist my face into this shocked look that was scary enough to prompt an, "oh my gosh rachel, what happened?" from both my roommates. And I have never felt so helpless. It is hard for me to just pray. To offer up something like the prayer you say even though you know what you ask for might be pointless, but all you have left between you and that thing that scares you the most is a sliver of a hope that your prayer will save you.

yeah, maybe
amen

origami

2009-02-06T16:27:00.002-07:00

click here for awesomeness...

so brilliant!

T, D & Z

2009-02-05T16:34:00.005-07:00

a love a good adventure...
just messing around.
i love having new models!

bad dreams and morning breath: an experiment in podcasting

2009-02-03T12:34:00.011-07:00

Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
[pause. All look at Cady]
Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.
Karen: Ew!

-Mean Girls

podcast #1 : click to listen!

senior pictures: annalise

2009-02-02T15:38:00.001-07:00

just delirious

2009-02-02T15:02:00.003-07:00

well aren't you just a cute little pyromaniac?

2009-01-30T00:55:00.011-07:00

there really isn't much of an explanation for this. while in the process of packing and getting ready to move i came across this stack of letters i had written someone several months back. letters that i never intended to send. a therapeutic exercise of sorts.

so why did i burn them?

it felt appropriate i suppose

i have always risen from my own ashes, like a phoenix, and this was just another one of those times.

captured in photographs.

Ashes... such a pretty word for such an ugly thing

advanced photo final

2008-12-11T13:24:00.004-07:00

"A pretty birthmark for such a beautiful face.
All the men from her past
Seem to have left her abandoned,
I guess there's some things
That you can never erase."
-Rachael (She Wants Revenge)

happiness is...

2008-12-11T12:00:00.022-07:00

graduating is stressful.
it makes your body hurt.
which then makes your projects not turn out how you wanted because you have NO energy.
I plan to continue the Happiness is... series and i hope to be able to use all of the answers people sent me.
I would just rather be in bed right now.

for those of you who don't know about this project... i asked the majority of the people close to me to finish the sentence happiness is... i got some really interesting answers. some people were funny and some more serious. all in all though it served its purpose and helped me explore what happiness means to me and how i can finally figure out how to have some.

as usual you can click on an image to make it bigger and don't steal my stuff.

that little black dress
a bad memory
clean underwear
lipgloss
that feeling you get when you first climb into a hot bath
Edward Cullen
pounding an energy drink your body can't handle
a bowl of sorbet and a churro
a sleeping baby
knowing she's out there smiling somewhere

the important questions on my mind

2008-10-21T10:06:00.002-07:00

EFY?

mission?

grad school?

letter of intent?

boys? do i even like them anymore?
(haha)

leave utah! when?

move home?

hawaii?

life blows.

watch!!!!!

2008-10-18T23:10:00.000-07:00

you know how i feel about croissants!!!

2008-10-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

how i feel in light of recent emails

2008-09-24T18:12:00.000-07:00

my hair

2008-09-18T11:44:00.003-07:00

colin commented on its "awesomeness" today so i thought i would share.

129 reasons not to be with you too

2008-09-17T08:38:00.012-07:00

this series is a sequel of sorts to a previous project of mine. check it out here if you haven't seen it yet. originally, though, there was a different "sequel." it was titled "129 reasons to be with you" and it wasn't exactly art. it was a list. a list of reasons that someone wanted to be with me and the last line said, "i can't think of 129 reasons to not be with you."

i am not even supposed to know the list exists. i found it on his computer by accident one day while playing the role of the "good farmer's wife" and looking up a recipe for dinner.

i'm sure it's been deleted by now.
i am also sure it was mostly a lie.

three wedding dates later and all i have is this series of photographs...but in all honesty, i'd rather have these photos than that list.

you can click on the images to make them bigger!

all images are property of r.johanna arts and cannot be used without the artists permission...yadda yadda blah blah blah. don't steal my stuff.

new layout

2008-09-13T13:59:00.002-07:00

i designed my sisters blog and then i got jealous... so i made a new one for myself.
enjoy!

for the giggles

2008-09-04T10:46:00.001-07:00

or in my case insane silent laughter in the library.

first day of school

2008-08-26T10:58:00.001-07:00

i am wearing my poncho because it is freaking freezing in the photo class room.

the end of summer and back to school which is also the end...

2008-08-23T14:45:00.004-07:00

i'm just full of endings right now.

i figured out how to make a slideshow, after several failed attempts and stupid websites.

these are all pictures from the second half of my summer from my trip to Minnesota, where i spent time on the beach with mom, went to a bridal shower and met a cute boy, went bowling, partied at Lumberjack days (and had bottomless mugs of root beer) and got caught in a really bad storm in Wisconsin. then i came home and my family wasn't far behind so abby and i went up to idaho to meet them and went tubing and rock hunting and alpine sliding. (have you ever noticed that bologna and lasagna don't rhyme?) then my family came down to utah for more fun and too much ice cream.

there are lots of feet and bikinis as usual for me.

(also check out my playlist, which i stuck permanently at the top of my blog)

enjoy! i'm off to research graduate schools and finish setting up my cute apartment! (bookshelves!!!!!!!)

stupid universe

2008-08-13T12:03:00.006-07:00

okay so every time i try and delete the iceland blog safari unexpectedly quits on me... i'm not sure if the universe is trying to tell me something or if it's trying to dick with me but i'm going to let it go for now. i'll try and move the rest of the blogs over here some other time. ugh. i'm pissed.

edit: it worked! {over a year later}

RSS feeds

2008-08-12T23:28:00.001-07:00

i will be killing everyone's rss feeds for a moment because i am moving all my posts from racheestaysput.blogspot.com over here because i don't wanna loose them, but i am deleting the iceland themed blog.

fun times with the family

2008-07-20T19:07:00.000-07:00

so i am walking downtown stillwater with my siblings and my parents are a ways back, and some guy yells out of his car window at me, "hey beautiful!" and his car happened to be waiting for the light right as my parents walked by and so my dad turned to the guy and said, "that's my daughter."

hahaha.

it was gut busting.

2008-07-19T14:16:00.000-07:00

a mix of music about making choices and the faith and spontaneity required to do so. sometimes you just have to leap!

Weezer Troublemaker

"I'm a troublemaker

Never been a faker

Doing things my own way

And never giving up "

Gavin DeGraw Meaning

"Sometimes our only way is jumpin'. I hope your not afraid of heights."

Muse Knights of Cydonia

"The time has come to make things right...

You and I must fight to survive "

Augustana Boston

"I think that I'm just tired.

I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind."

Frou Frou Let Go

"so let go, jump in

oh, well, whatcha waiting for

it's alright"

Switchfoot This is Your Life

"This is your life, are you who you want to be?"

Brooke Fraser C.S. Lewis Song

"For we, we are not long here

Our time is but a breath,

so we better breathe it.

And I, I was made to live

I was made to love

I was made to know you

Hope is coming for me"

My Chemical Romance Famous Last Words

"I am not afraid to keep on living,

I am not afraid to walk this world alone...

Nothing you can say can stop me going home. "

Paramore Miracle

"I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive

So I'm going to start over tonight

Beginning with you and I...

It's not faith if you're using your eyes"

Brad The Day Brings

"Get your heart, get your heart

Off of the shelf

Make the grey sky blue

Yeah, I'm talkin to you

And nevermind

The sick and the afraid"

Sugarland Want To

"We could jump in...

Yeah we both got dreams

we could chase alone

or we could make our own...

Never waste another day wonderin'

what you threw away

Holding me, holding you

I don't want to, if you don't want to."

Stars The Night Starts Here

"The time we have, the task at hand, the love it takes to become a man...The night starts here, the night starts here, forget your name, forget your fear."

edward freaking cullen...

2008-07-10T17:38:00.000-07:00

i wish i knew how to quit you

here comes the bride

2008-07-09T15:41:00.000-07:00

so yesterday, while waiting for the train, a really creepy older-ish guy sat down next to me... really creepy. apparently he thought i was really pretty and told me several times, both in english and spanish. the train was taking forever to come and in my head i kept begging for the train to be right around the corner. so then the guy starts to give me awkward side hugs and then he tried to hold my hand. seriously, he reached out and grabbed my hand to hold, more than once, since i pulled away several times. get the hint already. he also asked for a drink of water and my phone number. i have him the water bottle but not the number. so then my train comes (and thank goodness he was waiting for a sandy train and not getting on my university train) and he insists on giving me a hug good bye, during which i could feel his boner on my leg. insert full body shudder here.

so needless to say i am extremely grossed out.

so by the power vested in me, by the fantastical nature of my brain, i went out and got myself married.

i went to smiths to get some ice cream and all the jewelry was 50% off so i bought myself a wedding ring...it was only $7 bucks but its the thought that counts. being married to myself is surprisingly easy. i like all the same music, books and movies. i am not an ice cream hog and i am pretty good at doing the dishes without being asked. i think it will be a long and fruitful marriage. hopefully it will help keep the creeps way.

gah, i can't wait to go home

2008-07-08T17:01:00.000-07:00

life is getting pretty boring in salt lake city (mn here i come- t-minus 8 days)! but i find ways to keep myself occupied. like spending most of my day at the computer lab mooching internet. i take the train up here at least once a day. i like the train and that is a very good thing because my car died today. i didn't leave the lights on or anything so i am not sure what is wrong with it. it is holding a charge for now but we will see. it's kinda frustrating, but i can take the train just about anywhere i need to be so it's okay. i like to take pictures of the things i see along the way.
here is a Plymouth Colt. it is my lucky car. i happen to be quite superstitious in my own weird way. one of my favorite books is The Curious Incident With The Dog In The night by Mark Haddon. it started my car superstition. its about an autistic boy who creates order in his day by the number of cars he sees of the same color (four red cars in a row mean a wonderful day, while four yellow cars mean a bad day, in which case he does not eat lunch and will not speak). if i see a colt it means something good is going to happen. something big. its not like wearing lucky underwear big. its bigger. a teal one, like the one my dad drove when i was a kid, means something even better will happen. i have seen three colts since the summer started. one yellow (in spanish fork), one blue (on the highway), and this white one (at the library). so far the yellow and blue ones have brought me good things but i have yet to see what the white one will bring. (i sound crazy, i know, but it works so i can't ignore it).

i also saw this cool leaf in the park by my apartment. it is probably man made but still way cool to just see lying in the grass.

and then there was this broken down piece of machinery by the field house and i'm not sure why i thought the ditch witch was so funny but i laughed pretty hard.
also on my way to campus i saw two people reading twilight books. it is so swiffering the nation. anyways, i was just watching the show bones with david boreanaz and i decided this...

angel is THE vampire hearthrob and i loved him way before edward cullen was even thought up. not that rob isn't a cute guy (but he only does it for me when he is edward anyways). angel totally kicks edwards ass.

thats all for today i guess. i'm gonna go finish my episode of bones and then head home for some dinner. maybe buy some ice cream to celebrate getting some money.

lots to catch up on

2008-07-07T11:09:00.000-07:00

i have no internet so i have to take trax up to campus and use it here. so i have been putting off the blogging. i do however have lots of fun stuff and pictures and movies to post about.

first was eliza's 21st birthday at the cheesecake factory.

then there is my new apartment... the pictures suck because, really, theres not enough room to back up and take good ones. these are before i got anything in there.

then i went 80s dancing with my friend josh and his girlfriend and a bunch of other people and we slept over at josh's house that night and went camping up hobble creek canyon for the fourth. it was a ton of fun. we just goofed off all night. we were in the middle of nowhere and so we played music really loud (and killed the car battery in the process), danced around like idiots, went for a night hike, threw water balloons, wondered about bears, made spoon art, blew up sobe bottles full of gasoline, roasted marshmallows, ate boca burgers, and peed in gross toilets (although it was better than peeing in the dark woods i suppose).

i stayed sober... but some of the others didn't. which i found surprising since they were BYU kids. whoever thinks utes are sinners are douche bags. really now. i was the only ute and the only one not drinking. here are the pix i took... some are blurry which i think is cool. and the videos are awesome!!!

then on sunday i went to grandmas for dinner and a bunch of my cousins were there. grandma made spinach lasagna which was awesome but she thinks i don't eat enough. i have lost 8 pounds though so maybe she's right. here is a video of grandpa singing some song from some play he was in when my dad was a baby. blogger is being dumb and wont let me upload the other videos... i will try again later.

bah internet

2008-07-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

i haven't posted in a long time although i have several plans for future posts... i am in my new apartment (where i have no internet connection) and i am going out of town for the weekend! happy fourth of july everyone!!

2008-06-30T18:57:00.000-07:00

things i hate today:

facebook (in this case i also love it- a love hate relationship)

losing things (like the wheel to my bed frame)

my job

track pad stickers (and the lack there of)

ipods that don't work

things i love today:

pieces of flair

the secrets of peaches by jodi lynn anderson

orange juice

my new apartment

and this picture

Will you be just fine? Yes I'll be just fine!

2008-06-27T10:32:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with a completly different attitude about my life. i just felt different. maybe thats because i slept in till 11.

maybe it's because that sleeping was done in a bed, not on a couch.

maybe it's because i have a new apartment to move into!

maybe it's because mommy was here and she poured glue into my broken heart.

but really i think it is because i am happy all on my own, without someone else holding me together. i'm not sure that i thought it was possible and i can't remember the last time i could just be happy without help. it feels good. it is a better kind of happy. and i was a fool to think i could get married before i figured this out. haha.

so today i say no more to the kitty hanging onto the window ledge that i have always been.

here are some of my ideas for moving forward...

2008-06-26T20:33:00.000-07:00

in high school i had an experience where the words to jimmy eats world's the middle changed my thinking and well, kinda my life, since i moved across the country soon after my thinking changed. i came across the lyric of a different song today, which made me think of the j.e.w. song which led me to create this mix of songs about everything being alright. here it is. i even made some half-assed cover art.

Yellowcard Believe

"Everything is gonna be alright

Everything is gonna be alright

Be strong believe"

Paramore Hallelujah

"somehow every thing's gonna fall right into place."

Jimmy Eat World The Middle

"It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.

Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright."

Motion City Soundtrack Everything Is Alright

"Someday you'll be fine..

Yes, I'll be just fine.

Tell me that you're alright,

Yeah everything is alright."

Umbrellas The City Lights

"I'm thinking ambitious

I've got this feeling things will be alright"

Killers Everything Will Be Alright

"I never knew, I never knew

But it's alright...

Everything will be alright"

Indigo Girls Closer To Fine

"The less I seek my source for some definitive

the closer I am to fine."

Relient K Everything Will Be

"It shines outside and in my life,

and I know that everything is gonna be just fine."

Maria Taylor One For The Shareholder

"It's the thought that gets lost in time

But it's all right "

Rosie Thomas Wedding Day

"guess i've been wrong

but it's all right"

All American Rejects Dance Inside

"And I'll be fine, you'll be fine

Is this fine?"

Switchfoot More Than Fine

"I want more than just ok, more than just ok."

pretty substantial blog

2008-06-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

wow... there is lots to talk about! yesterday we went to a yummy french patisserie and it just made me want to re-learn french. i had a really yummy food. i don't wanna turn this into a food blog but the sweet potato fries were friggin epic.

and then i had a yummy croissant with cream cheese and raspberries. mmm.
then i watched batman forever with val kilmer as batman. really it is a dumb movie and the only real batman to me is christian bale but wow... i was watching this movie up in shannon's bed and all of a sudden i am like, "wow, i am getting really hot for this batman." and it was all because of his mouth... watching him talk made me all sorts of hot. phew.

thats what i am talking about. oh man. i have a mouth thing. it is the opposite of my mother's mouth thing. she dislikes certain mouths and i love the same ones. like james marsden.

this is also what i am talking about. wow. only in this picture i am not so much looking at his mouth as his abs.
then today i went to work and steamed clothes for several hours and then my mom and i went to j. brooks jewelers to plan our lake powel adventure. i am tres excited. hopefully it all works out.
iv'e got a handful of photo shoots coming up and that will keep me busy. i like busy. and my apartment is finished!!! yay!!!

today at work i caught my reflection in the mirror and it was weird. i had major deja vu.

here i am in high school.

here i am today.

i am pondering on the things that have changed between these two girls.

I spent last night with mark whalberg

2008-06-22T18:32:00.000-07:00

okay so i missed my saturday post but i am a busy girl so what do you want from me? here i am in Shannon's big bed-typing typing.
i got some cute new blonde hair and i like it a lot. and i have some new red flip flops. i also like them a lot.

but i also got a surprise visit and i like it a lot a lot.

i was having a crisis and the momma bear was angry (grrr) and she came to take care of the baby bear. although there really wasn't much to take care of and so she and i are just having lots of fun. yesterday we went shopping and she got me a really cute white dress from american eagle. and i wore it to church today and it was really cute on.
then last night we went to see the m. night shama lama ding dong movie, the happening. i closed my eyes a lot. there was some gory stuff. i liked it though. any movie with mark is good enough entertainment for me.
while i was in the bathroom i took a picture of the cool wallpaper. i hope there was no one else in the stalls that heard my shutter click and thought i was taking dirty pictures of my whoo ha.

i also had to take a picture of the twilight poster. like a geek. but i wasn't a big enough geek to take a picture of me in front of it.
then this morning we had lunch at little america after church. my fruit salad was not only huge but it was pretty.

then at the end of the meal abbys ice cream had melted and so had my sherbet so i made food art.
so far that is the extent of the awesomeness but i am sure more is to come. like moving into my apartment. yay!

the higher and photo booth

2008-06-20T00:05:00.000-07:00

rosie thomas and photo booth

2008-06-19T16:13:00.000-07:00

just real quick this morning

2008-06-17T09:49:00.000-07:00

i must say: "um, i had an adrenaline rush. it's very common. you can google it!"

edit: the black was too depressing and made my pictures look funky.

i am a pro at blogging.

2008-06-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

wow. what is this my fourth blog today? i think it's just cause i had the day off of work and therefore was totally bored! i think tomorrow i will look for a new job. i really really really want to work at the barnes and noble in the gateway mall. a. i would walk/ take the train from my new apartment. b. i. love. books. killer discount! c. i was there today and i told shannon i could live there. and it's true. i really could. something about walking around and looking at books and being the cute nerdy girl who knows where everything is is very appealing to me. so i will go and inquire tomorrow. but really even if i had to work in the cafe, i could do that. its right next to the journal section. i know that little corner quite well. omg. i thought of a d. breaking dawn release party. i bet i would get it before any of the other little 13 year old fan girls. and for cheaper. yay.

today i slept until about 12. then i laid in bed till about 1. then i sat around in bed watching various tv shows including unwrapped and one tree hill, oh and my big fat greek wedding. then shannon took me to get a pedicure because she is great. (and lets face it...i really needed it.) BEFORE: shes like a second mommy. i think that heavenly father does nice things for me, like push back the date that my apartment will be ready, so that i can be okay. i think that staying here at the hansens defiantly helps in some ways. it's nice not to be alone.

AFTER:

and i got a foot massage and i sat in a massage chair. it rocked. while i was getting my toes done i started reading a book i picked up a while back but was putting off reading so i would have something to do when lyle was gone. i actually have a few books im doing that with. this book is called Pretty Little Mistakes by Heather McElhatton. it is really interesting. you start out at the beginning and then when you get to the end of a section you make a choice. like a life choice. go to school or travel. take this job or dont. so i am reading it and trying to make the kinds of choices that i would make in real life and where do i end up?? seriously no joke. i end up on page 70 getting a scholarship and going to an art school in ICELAND! not even kidding. i could not make up something this crazy. my mentors name is Halldora pordardottir (only there are icelandic letters and stuff in there). and i teach art at a small elementary school named Ardoejarskoli. and i teach 800 blond-haired, blue-eyed kids since Iceland is a nation of 270,000 of the most genetically similar people on earth.

crazy i tell ya.

then i went for a walk with shannon and her friend and i took the opportunity to take cool night pictures.

2008-06-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

nobody.

Me and Batman.

2008-05-18T13:41:00.003-07:00

Google your name in quotes with the word 'is' (ex. "kim is") and post your favorite results.
(I know this has been done about a million and ten times but I love it.)

Rachel is a real girl.
Rachel is the cutest thing ever.
Rachel is so beautiful.
Rachel is good for all of us.
Rachel is one of my favorite books of all time.
Rachel is a childhood friend to Bruce Wayne. (seriously! i rock!)
Rachel is Rachel.

sweet.

pieces

2008-01-31T10:44:00.000-07:00

i have been experimenting with the concept of pieces. life in pieces, relationships in pieces, puzzle pieces...
these are some images i did for my electronic darkroom class.

2008-01-29T20:20:00.001-07:00

i asked my 12 models to pick their favorite lyric-or one that meant something to them and then we wrote the lyrics on their bodies to show that music is a part of us. My models are all beautiful and picked fantastic lyrics. They were very dynamic and came at the project with passion, creativity, and enthusiasm. Thanks so much everyone who was a part of this. I hope you had as much fun as I did. For those of you viewing it... think of the lyric that you would have chosen. Remember that music really is a huge part of all our lives even if you are unaware of it and love it! I challenge everyone to find at least one song that makes you feel alive, that is better than heroin, that connects you to something, and/or that speaks to you. hope you like it- r.johanna

Annalise
"Forever Young"-Youth Group
© r.johanna arts

Annalise
"I'm a Terrible Person"- Rooney
© r.johanna arts

Edward
"Hey Ya"- Outcast
© r.johanna arts

Eliza
"Dashboard"- Modest Mouse
© r.johanna arts

Eliza and Jake
"Girl"- The Beatles
© r.johanna arts

Isabelle
"Defying Gravity"-Wicked
© r.johanna arts

Jake
"Needy Girl"- Chromeo
© r.johanna arts

Jennifer
"Moon on My Shoulder"- Lyle Lovett
© r.johanna arts

Josh
"Hunting For Witches"- Bloc Party
© r.johanna arts

Laura
"Freakish"- Saves The Day
© r.johanna arts

Lyle
"Lose Yourself"-Eminem
© r.johanna arts

Rachel
"Leap Year"- Maria Taylor
© r.johanna arts

Rachel and Lyle
"This is the Way I Am"- Ingrid Michaelson
© r.johanna arts

Steven
"She"-Elvis Costello
© r.johanna arts

Rachel, Eliza, and Laura
"Falling Away With You"- Muse
© r.johanna arts

so she actually climbed into the booth

2008-01-29T19:51:00.000-07:00

those words are not enough...

2007-10-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

feelings, inside of my head
i don't know, but i'm thinking about you- relient k

writing has always been a huge part of my life. happy, sad, angry... i love words. (music lyrics especially!!) i have been keeping a journal since i was 14 and have roughly 20 of them filled up. recently for a writing assignment i had to think about my love of words. i loved the assignment and had a lot of fun with it, but this is me we are talking about... words arent always enough. i needed pictures!!! if you have seen my journals they never consist of just words. pictures, stickers, sketches and other things always adorn the pages. so the paper didn't satisfy me and i began brainstorming ways to mesh my pictures with my words. i have a million and two ideas running around in my head as always. for my advanced photo assignment this week i narrowed my ideas down (for now) and decided to take small quotes from my journals. but this was not narrow enough. like i said, 20 journals. thats a lot of words. so i took quotes from journals only within the last year and mostly from my current journal. not all the words are mine (2 are song lyrics) but they were written in my journal because they mean something to me so i felt they still fit into the project. i wish i could have made 20 of these but 8 will have to do for now. these photos and maybe some more like them will make their way into my final project which i am already planning out in my head. -rachel johanna

129 reasons not to be with you

2007-03-29T17:45:00.000-07:00

A Collection of Bottle Caps
Photographed by r. johanna

"a little, a lot"
Digital Color Photograph
© r.johanna arts
March 2007

"Glamorous?"
Digital Color Photograph
© r.johanna arts
March 2007

"Bittersweet"
Digital Color Photograph
© r.johanna arts
March 2007

"blue moon, that's a good memory"
Digital Color Photograph
© r.johanna arts
March 2007

"129 reasons not to be with you"
Digital Color Photograph
© r.johanna arts
March 2007

"big pile of saturday nights"
Digital Color Photograph
© r.johanna arts
March 2007

"drink up"
Digital Color Photograph
© r.johanna arts
March 2007

i love a good sunny day

2007-03-05T16:40:00.000-07:00

waking up to a day like today, with the sun out and the warmth... i love it! i associate good weather with good memories and good feelings so on beautiful days like today i get overwhelmed with rich emotions and a desire to be free. but since i had to work i found an outlet for that through poetry. Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin's "i loved you...", Pablo Neruda's "drunk as drunk" and "twenty poems of love", and as always my favorite poet the lonley, brilliant and always inspiring Emily Dickinson. I love everything she ever wrote. They spoke to me today and their words entered into me and found a home.

It was Langston Hughes who's words hit home the most though.

"Let the rain kiss you.
Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops.
Let the rain sing you a lullaby.

The rain makes still pools on the sidewalk.
The rain makes running pools in the gutter.
The rain plays a little sleep-song on our roof at night-

And I love the rain."

i guess it spoke to me the most because there is no rain in my world right now.

The Intangible Redd

2007-01-26T16:06:00.000-07:00

I have been dreaming of swimming through dark water-these words.
Glistening in the sun on snow.
Like a fish through these words
Flickering thoughts
Kaleidoscope dreams
The scratch of pencil-
the sweet smell of ink.

As i lay next to the fireplace
as it dances with the ceiling fan
i can see the shadows
through the thin skin of my eyelids.

The intangible red.
The intangible Redd.
Untouchable.
Abstract.
Ethereal.
Disincarnate
Incarnate
My companions do not care about anything so intangible.

I reach out for the flames, but meet only glass.
It's cold outside, but it's warm
in here.

----------------------------------

"Art is simply confidence in what you do"~ thayne

Happy 23rd!!

2007-01-23T12:22:00.000-07:00

i am another month older.

i wore this dress my senior year to prom
it is a size 0
almost 2 years later...
and it still fits baby!!!!

RANDOM

2006-09-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

i have a bunch of random stuff to say so here it goes...

i am a rock climbing goddess!

my cousin erika is famous in tokyo here is picture of her from the disney website (blonde hair)
i pretty much love her and am so proud of her!

my photo class was canceled today so i made yummy cookies!

my daddy is comming to visit on the 29th and 18 days till my birthday!

woot! and i got 10 hours of sleep yesterday and last night!

oh and cobra starship is coming to utah soon and laura and i are so there!

crying while at work when your boss is in the next room...

2006-08-31T17:51:00.000-07:00

well it sucks!

i miss my friend!

i did this just for the x-men!!! mmm and tom welling

2006-08-28T15:50:00.000-07:00

What side of the heart do you draw first?
the left

Can you dive without blocking your nose?:
Yes. but not too deep

Do you have a dog?
No.

What color is your razor?:
green and silver..it vibrates! when the bateries arent dead...like they have been for a year now

Cowboys or Pirates?:
Pirates.... BUT if i had to pick between johnny depp and tom welling (smallville, clark kent, farm boy) then tom all the way but hes not a cowboy so pirates

What was for dinner last night?:
Cheese ravoli with Alfredo sauce.... my favorite and i cooked it!

Do you watch TV Land?:
No.

Whats the weather like?:
sunny and breazy

Whats your favorite number?:
23

Do you help with the groceries?:
Um... Yeah. we buy them ourselves.. now that we are grownups

How often do you get dunkin donuts?
Never. I don't remember the last time. Probably fresh year for seminary.

Laptop?
woot! i have a mac- love it- and i just learned all these new tricks

Pets?
None. :)

What kind of sneakers do you wear?:
converse, kswiss, and diesel

Do you like Xmen?:
LOVE LOVE LOVE.... oh my GOSH its my favorite thing in the world... comic books coming out of the cracks in my house WOOT WOOT! I LOVE CYCLOPS! hes so fine

Do you have MSN?:
Yes.

Do you know Roman Numerals?:
some of them but i have lost those brain cells

AC?:
we actually have it now..woo woo

How many chairs at the dining room table?:
what table...

Do you like video games?
Some. gotta love Old School Nintendo! (ashley spelled it like a RETARD)

Whats your favorite gaming system?:
see above

Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince Theme Song?:
no...

Do you go to summer camp?:
i used to and i will next year as a councelor

Do you eat cafeteria food?:
I did all year last year... IT SUCKED

Whats your favorite kind of gum?
Orbit- Sweet Mint or big red

Do you like to read?
yes! woot all the time

Do you say basement or cellar?
basement... only potato farmers and the like say cellar haha

Do you have allergies, or on-going illnesses (rash diseases, etc)?:
no... allergies i guess but who knows to what?!

Do you like to sleep?:
like... no not at all! i love it

Do you HATE comercials?:
Yes, unless they make me pee my pants laughing.

Any statues in your house?:
No, but we have an "S".

Ever roasted marshmallows around a campfire?:
hecks yes. many times.

Who is / are your favorite band(s)?:
ummm well i did this survey backwards like i always do them so i have to say Panic! at the disco because i want to write about them in the next one

Ever seen them in concert?:
woooo yeah!!! i touched the lead singers leg..ish area

Ever been to any concerts?:
clearly seeing as the question directly above this one asks if ive seen Panic! in concert

Do you like rap?
every once in a while theres a good song but not in general

Do you want a bright yellow '06 mustang?
no...sick

Are there any celebrities of the opposite sex who you find attractive?
tom welling... sex in a flannel shirt..mmmMhmmm

When all you gotta keep is strong...

2006-08-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

Mow the lawn
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn just to make it through
Mow the lawn
Mow the lawn

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we mow the lawn
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we mow the lawn
the lawn, the lawn, the lawn

When all you got to keep is strong
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn just to make it through
[x3]

(Mow the lawn)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We mow the lawn

Faith

2006-08-13T18:44:00.000-07:00

The past year has been somewhat surreal... i have grown soooo much as a person and i owe that to so many people, things, and experiences. The changes took place inside myself (some visible to outsiders, some not) but it was the things that surrounded me that made those changes possible.

The following list is alphabetized because like always i can't pick favorites very easily and i don't want to hurt feelings.

Thank You:

Annie Lebovitz: for being an inspiration for my photography.
Annie S. Hawks and Robert Lowry: for the words and music to the hymn 'i need thee every hour' because there were times when i did need Heavenly Father every hour.
Ashley: for being my best friend and the best roommate one could ask for. for being my perfect equal and complete opposite all at once. for being one of the 3 people i can talk to about anything.
Bishop Burt: for being one of the few to believe that i have repented 100% for trusting and believing in me. for helping me regain my strength in the church.
Brother Frogley: for teaching me about the savior and his love for me. for reminding me about annalise and her role in my life.
Colin: for music. for understanding me sometimes when no one else does.
Dylan, Whitney, and the other girls of PSI: for all the Mormon girl fun with added spirituality.
Garrett: for loving me and all that comes with that such as strength, respect and patience. for letting me cry, calming my fears, and pointing out the other sides of things. for opening my eyes. for being one of the 3 people i can talk to about anything.
Grandma and Grandpa John: for dinner. for being a safe place for me to go. for always having the spirit and love to surround me with.
Hansen Family: for being my second parents. for cute hair.
Heather: for being herself, sweet and spunky. for forcing me to get out of my dorm room when i was feeling anti-social. for making those times fun.
Jesus: for forgiveness.
Joseph Smith: for D&C 88. for the church on this earth. for being one of the foundations of my belief.
Laura: for all the fun. for free concerts. for making me laugh.
Maria Taylor: for this song. "In a hurry, but there's so much time.
I will wait for you. Growing love, but like water time will always slip through."
Mike: for being a good guy friend who doesn't want more than that. for amazing movies. for 3 row seats to the real Madrid game. for being one of the 3 people i can talk to about anything.
Minisinoo: for fluffy stories when i feel down. for brilliant novels. for inspiring me in part to be published.
My Journal: for always listening...and being so darn cute.
My patriarchal Blessing: for answers.
My Pillow: for being there with my ipod whenever i need to recover.
Teresa and Jonathan: for being a good example of what is important when you pick an eternal companion
Tyler and Grace: for being good kids so my job isn't too hard. for bringing out the kid in me sometimes.

My bracelet today says 'faith' and that seems perfect because i have faith that i will contiune to grow this year and all the ones after that.

i am not dorthy...(you bitchy girls at church)

2006-08-06T17:24:00.000-07:00

#1) My shoes are from urban outfitters...thak you very much $$$$
#2) They are not and will never be off to see the wonderful wizard of Oz
#3) They aren't red
#4) Mine are sequins...hers are glitter
#5) They have no heel, they have no strap
#6) Did the bishop not just talk about being non-judgemental in scarement meeting? or did i hallucinate that? Who are they to JUDGE my shoes. (which are sexy)
#7) They do not magically transport you anywhere (i TRIED... clicked my heels 3 times "there's no place like grandmas, there's no place like grandmas" it. didn't. work.)
Toto, i don't think we're in the 35th ward anymore...

i have a new boyfriend...

2006-07-21T10:37:00.000-07:00

told you so

2006-07-18T17:14:00.001-07:00

Your Love Life by lpfloatsmyboat
Name/username/nickname:
favorite color:
best physical quaility:	everything!
best personality trait:	friendly
will you marry your bf/gf that you have now?	yes!
when will you get married?	December 25, 2012
your kiss is:	polite
People date you because:	you're smart

Quiz created with MemeGen!

my ipod is smart!

2006-06-04T16:15:00.000-07:00

put your ipod on shuffle and answer each question with the song that pops up!

1.How does the world see you?
You're Still You -Josh Groban
"I look up to Everything you are In my eyes you do no wrong"
(hell yes!)

2.Will I have a happy life?
Summer Nights- Grease
(garrett and i sang a modified version of this song at church once haha)

3. What do my friends really think of me?
I Drive Myself Crazy- *nsync
(i dont know what to think of that...haha)

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Ruthless- Something Corporate

5. How can I make myself happy?
Barbie Girl- Aqua
(undress me everywhere...haha)

6. What should I do with my life?
Two of Those Two- Maria Taylor
(woot-i love this song- "a college town" its telling me to go home!)

7. Will I ever have children?
How I Go- yellowcard
(again i love this song!! "Son, I am not everything you thought that I would be. But every story I have told is part of me")

8. What is some good advice for me?
Nature Song- Maria Taylor

9. How will I be remembered?
Burning Down The House- Talking Heads
(hahahahahaha)

10. What is my signature dancing song?
Shut Up- Kelly Osbourne

11. What do I think my current theme song is?
Ready For Love- Cascada
(hahahaha- kinda perfect)

12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Hand in My Pocket- Alanis Morissette
("and what it all comes down too is that everythings gonna be fine fine fine)

13.What song will play at my funeral?
Kiss The Girl- Little Mermaid
(ahhhh hahaha- if i died right now haha it would be perfect)

14. What type of men do you like?
One More Sad Song- AAR
(*looks at ipod disbelievingly*)

15. What is my day going to be like?
Slow Like Honey- Fiona Apple

getting to know me, getting to know all about me

2006-06-04T15:15:00.000-07:00

My Name: Rachel John
childhood ambition: to be an FBI agent
fondest memory: weekend in Duluth with my dad taking pictures
soundtrack: maria taylor-11:11
rocky votolato-makers
the all american rejects-move along
retreat: nature- anywhere beautiful and warm where i can be alone
wildest dream: to finish my novel and have it be a bestseller
proudest moment: walking out of the bishops office with a temple recomend
biggest chalenge: loving myself and my art work
alarm clock: its summer time...whats an alarm clock?
perfect day: pepperment tea, and time to do art, write in my journal, and read a good book
first job: smoothie maker
indulgence: jamba juice
last purchase: shimmery lotion and lip tint
favorite movie: notting hill
inspiration: music that touches me

I always wanted to be jean grey-if i was i'd be dead!

2006-05-29T11:38:00.000-07:00

i have to write about this of course...seeing as it is my greatest passion...

haha

i saw x-men 3 the last stand- and I HATED IT!!! yuck... dont read this if you havent seen it

Cyclops, Professor X, and Jean all die...Magneto, Mystique, and Rouge don't have their powers...characters were wrong, the story was wrong and its nothing like the comic or even the animated series... i am very depressed! the only two reasons it was worth seeing was iceman finaly turning into iceman and headbutting pyro and cyclops' scruffy sexyness at the begining (before he DIES!)

i think the movie should have been something a lot like the online novel Grail by Minisinoo although i didnt like the love triangle with angel other than that- x3 should have followed that story line if they couldn't bear to do it the comic way

check it out: www.themedicinewheel.net/grail/grail.html
but beware it has graphic sex and violence so if thats not your thing dont read it! also its really long- like novels are...

P.S. shame on you stan lee for letting fox make this terrible movie disgracing the marvel name

1987-09-23T14:49:00.004-07:00