Sticky Notes

quote via weheartit

lyric by Jimmy Eat World

Sticky Notes

quote via weheartit

lyric by Regina Spektor

left leg not broken... but it should be

"Life these days is getting rough

Knocks you down and beats you up

But it’s just a roller coaster anyway, yeah

It’s not right, not okay

Say the word that should say

Maybe we’re better off this way

I’m not fine, I’m in pain

It’s harder everyday

Maybe we’re better off this way

It’s better that we break, baby"

 -Maroon 5

i've gotten a taste of what it is like to lose someone this week... really lose someone. gone. off the planet. i've lost people before (see above- broken friendship). but death is not something i have had to deal with yet. i have both my parents, all my siblings, all my friends, all four grandparents, my cousins and all of my aunts and uncles- save annalise, who's void i do feel in my life- but she died when i was a baby and so i cannot claim to have felt the pain of her actual death (besides, i like to think she watches over me and therefore i have had her all along). 

understandably the thought of losing someone so close to me has freaked me out pretty thoroughly and i am once again thinking that i'm in a hurry and there's just not enough time.  i'm thinking of mistakes i've made and broken friendships and other things going wrong in my life and i am, as usual, unsure of my next step. 

but this i do know.

my grandpa should be dead. but he is here. he is alive. 

and so am i. 

 

take this as a sign?

songs you might need durring the scary moments

1. Ross Copperman (They'll Never Know)

Hush, baby don’t cry. Just get through this night 

Overcome.

2. Robbie Seay Band (Shine Your Light On Us)

Let Your rescue come for us, we long to love 

And if you feel lost, sing along

3. Paramore (Miracle)

I've been waiting for a miracle 

And I'm not leaving

4. Ingrid Michaelson (Keep Breathing)

All i can do is keep breathing.  All we can do is keep breathing now. 

 All we can do is keep breathing 

5. City and Colour (Hello, I'm Delaware)

It's been so long. Sometimes I wonder how I will stay strong...

But I will see you again.

I got a scary phone call today.

The kind people pray they will never get. 

"Rachel, your grandpa is in intensive care." 

And all I could do and fathom and be was in that one sentence. Heart-ending and gut-pounding and soul-crushing as it was, the only thing I knew to do was twist my face into this shocked look that was scary enough to prompt an, "oh my gosh rachel, what happened?" from both my roommates. And I have never felt so helpless. It is hard for me to just pray. To offer up something like the prayer you say even though you know what you ask for might be pointless, but all you have left between you and that thing that scares you the most is a sliver of a hope that your prayer will save you.

yeah, maybe
amen

When all you gotta keep is strong...

Mow the lawn
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn just to make it through
Mow the lawn
Mow the lawn

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we mow the lawn
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we mow the lawn
the lawn, the lawn, the lawn

When all you got to keep is strong
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Mow the lawn, mow the lawn just to make it through
[x3]

(Mow the lawn)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We mow the lawn

my ipod is smart!

put your ipod on shuffle and answer each question with the song that pops up!

1.How does the world see you?
You're Still You -Josh Groban
"I look up to Everything you are In my eyes you do no wrong"
(hell yes!)

2.Will I have a happy life?
Summer Nights- Grease
(garrett and i sang a modified version of this song at church once haha)

3. What do my friends really think of me?
I Drive Myself Crazy- *nsync
(i dont know what to think of that...haha)

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Ruthless- Something Corporate

5. How can I make myself happy?
Barbie Girl- Aqua
(undress me everywhere...haha)

6. What should I do with my life?
Two of Those Two- Maria Taylor
(woot-i love this song- "a college town" its telling me to go home!)

7. Will I ever have children?
How I Go- yellowcard
(again i love this song!! "Son, I am not everything you thought that I would be. But every story I have told is part of me")

8. What is some good advice for me?
Nature Song- Maria Taylor

9. How will I be remembered?
Burning Down The House- Talking Heads
(hahahahahaha)

10. What is my signature dancing song?
Shut Up- Kelly Osbourne

11. What do I think my current theme song is?
Ready For Love- Cascada
(hahahaha- kinda perfect)

12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Hand in My Pocket- Alanis Morissette
("and what it all comes down too is that everythings gonna be fine fine fine)

13.What song will play at my funeral?
Kiss The Girl- Little Mermaid
(ahhhh hahaha- if i died right now haha it would be perfect)

14. What type of men do you like?
One More Sad Song- AAR
(*looks at ipod disbelievingly*)

15. What is my day going to be like?
Slow Like Honey- Fiona Apple