things i hate today:

facebook (in this case i also love it- a love hate relationship)

losing things (like the wheel to my bed frame)

my job

track pad stickers (and the lack there of)

ipods that don't work

things i love today:

pieces of flair

the secrets of peaches by jodi lynn anderson

orange juice

my new apartment

and this picture

Will you be just fine? Yes I'll be just fine!

I woke up this morning with a completly different attitude about my life. i just felt different. maybe thats because i slept in till 11. 

maybe it's because that sleeping was done in a bed, not on a couch. 

maybe it's because i have a new apartment to move into!

maybe it's because mommy was here and she poured glue into my broken heart. 

but really i think it is because i am happy all on my own, without someone else holding me together. i'm not sure that i thought it was possible and i can't remember the last time i could just be happy without help. it feels good. it is a better kind of happy. and i was a fool to think i could get married before i figured this out. haha. 

so today i say no more to the kitty hanging onto the window ledge that i have always been. 

here are some of my ideas for moving forward...

in high school i had an experience where the words to jimmy eats world's the middle changed my thinking and well, kinda my life, since i moved across the country soon after my thinking changed. i came across the lyric of a different song today, which made me think of the j.e.w. song which led me to create this mix of songs about everything being alright. here it is. i even made some half-assed cover art.

Yellowcard Believe 

"Everything is gonna be alright

Everything is gonna be alright

Everything is gonna be alright

Be strong believe"

Paramore Hallelujah 

"somehow every thing's gonna fall right into place." 

Jimmy Eat World The Middle

"It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.

Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright."

Motion City Soundtrack Everything Is Alright

"Someday you'll be fine..

Yes, I'll be just fine.

Tell me that you're alright,

Yeah everything is alright."

Umbrellas The City Lights

"I'm thinking ambitious

I've got this feeling things will be alright"

Killers Everything Will Be Alright

"I never knew, I never knew

But it's alright... 

Everything will be alright"

Indigo Girls Closer To Fine

"The less I seek my source for some definitive

the closer I am to fine." 

Relient K Everything Will Be

"It shines outside and in my life, 

and I know that everything is gonna be just fine." 

Maria Taylor One For The Shareholder

"It's the thought that gets lost in time

But it's all right "

Rosie Thomas Wedding Day

"guess i've been wrong

but it's all right"

All American Rejects Dance Inside

"And I'll be fine, you'll be fine

Is this fine?" 

Switchfoot More Than Fine

"I want more than just ok, more than just ok."

pretty substantial blog

wow... there is lots to talk about! yesterday we went to a yummy french patisserie and it just made me want to re-learn french. i had a really yummy food. i don't wanna turn this into a food blog but the sweet potato fries were friggin epic. 

and then i had a yummy croissant with cream cheese and raspberries. mmm.
then i watched batman forever with val kilmer as batman. really it is a dumb movie and the only real batman to me is christian bale but wow... i was watching this movie up in shannon's bed and all of a sudden i am like, "wow, i am getting really hot for this batman." and it was all because of his mouth... watching him talk made me all sorts of hot. phew.

thats what i am talking about. oh man. i have a mouth thing. it is the opposite of my mother's mouth thing. she dislikes certain mouths and i love the same ones. like james marsden. 

this is also what i am talking about. wow. only in this picture i am not so much looking at his mouth as his abs.
then today i went to work and steamed clothes for several hours and then my mom and i went to j. brooks jewelers to plan our lake powel adventure. i am tres excited. hopefully it all works out.
iv'e got a handful of photo shoots coming up and that will keep me busy. i like busy. and my apartment is finished!!! yay!!!

today at work i caught my reflection in the mirror and it was weird. i had major deja vu.

here i am in high school.


here i am today.


i am pondering on the things that have changed between these two girls.

I spent last night with mark whalberg

okay so i missed my saturday post but i am a busy girl so what do you want from me? here i am in Shannon's big bed-typing typing. 
i got some cute new blonde hair and i like it a lot. and i have some new red flip flops. i also like them a lot.

but i also got a surprise visit and i like it a lot a lot.

i was having a crisis and the momma bear was angry (grrr) and she came to take care of the baby bear. although there really wasn't much to take care of and so she and i are just having lots of fun. yesterday we went shopping and she got me a really cute white dress from american eagle. and i wore it to church today and it was really cute on.
then last night we went to see the m. night shama lama ding dong movie, the happening. i closed my eyes a lot. there was some gory stuff. i liked it though. any movie with mark is good enough entertainment for me.
while i was in the bathroom i took a picture of the cool wallpaper. i hope there was no one else in the stalls that heard my shutter click and thought i was taking dirty pictures of my whoo ha.


i also had to take a picture of the twilight poster. like a geek. but i wasn't a big enough geek to take a picture of me in front of it.
then this morning we had lunch at little america after church. my fruit salad was not only huge but it was pretty.

then at the end of the meal abbys ice cream had melted and so had my sherbet so i made food art.
so far that is the extent of the awesomeness but i am sure more is to come. like moving into my apartment. yay! 

the higher and photo booth

rosie thomas and photo booth

just real quick this morning

i must say: "um, i had an adrenaline rush. it's very common. you can google it!"

edit: the black was too depressing and made my pictures look funky.

i am a pro at blogging.

wow. what is this my fourth blog today? i think it's just cause i had the day off of work and therefore was totally bored! i think tomorrow i will look for a new job. i really really really want to work at the barnes and noble in the gateway mall. a. i would walk/ take the train from my new apartment. b. i. love. books. killer discount! c. i was there today and i told shannon i could live there. and it's true. i really could. something about walking around and looking at books and being the cute nerdy girl who knows where everything is is very appealing to me. so i will go and inquire tomorrow. but really even if i had to work in the cafe, i could do that. its right next to the journal section. i know that little corner quite well. omg. i thought of a d. breaking dawn release party. i bet i would get it before any of the other little 13 year old fan girls. and for cheaper. yay.

today i slept until about 12. then i laid in bed till about 1. then i sat around in bed watching various tv shows including unwrapped and one tree hill, oh and my big fat greek wedding. then shannon took me to get a pedicure because she is great. (and lets face it...i really needed it.) BEFORE: shes like a second mommy. i think that heavenly father does nice things for me, like push back the date that my apartment will be ready, so that i can be okay. i think that staying here at the hansens defiantly helps in some ways. it's nice not to be alone.

AFTER:

and i got a foot massage and i sat in a massage chair. it rocked. while i was getting my toes done i started reading a book i picked up a while back but was putting off reading so i would have something to do when lyle was gone. i actually have a few books im doing that with. this book is called Pretty Little Mistakes by Heather McElhatton. it is really interesting. you start out at the beginning and then when you get to the end of a section you make a choice. like a life choice. go to school or travel. take this job or dont. so i am reading it and trying to make the kinds of choices that i would make in real life and where do i end up?? seriously no joke. i end up on page 70 getting a scholarship and going to an art school in ICELAND! not even kidding. i could not make up something this crazy. my mentors name is Halldora pordardottir (only there are icelandic letters and stuff in there). and i teach art at a small elementary school named Ardoejarskoli. and i teach 800 blond-haired, blue-eyed kids since Iceland is a nation of 270,000 of the most genetically similar people on earth.

crazy i tell ya.

then i went for a walk with shannon and her friend and i took the opportunity to take cool night pictures.

nobody.